Mormon Messages!

The "Mormon Messages" are short videos, that share something, talk about something, and teach something to those who watch them.  They are funny sometimes, poinant, sweet, and even make a person think.  For me, and my little girls, they bring peace into our home.  Not all the time, but it seems that when I let these messages stream on the tv, we are a lot more relaxed, and calm than at other times.  I usually "play all" so that I do not need to stop what I am otherwise doing to begin a new video.  I turn up the volume loud enough so that we can be in the kitchen or dining room and still hear the message, but not too loud to not be able to discuss what the girls just heard. 
I have gather much knowledge and understanding from these short messages, and have even had a "Wow!" moment during one of them, well more than one actually.  But, my favorite is "Dare to Stand Alone" which talks about President Monson's time in boot camp. His statement about Daring to be a Mormon, and having a purpose and sharing it was an eye-opener for me! 

Focus on the Positive!

I have spent the last few months in the bit of a funk.  Each evening, while myhusband waters the yeard, waters the garden, pulls weeds, and plays with the kids, I am sadly left out.  I hear them screeching and giggling, yelling, and laughing, all while I remain inside.  Not that I do not want to be a part of what is happening, but I cannot.
My intention earlier in the year was to do all of those things.  I wanted to be the one pulling weeds, and watering and harvesting the garden, but alas, I am not.  We had hoped that this pain pump that now lives within my body would be working at "full capacity" and I would be able to take on some of the outside work/ burden that my dear hubby now finds himself saddled with.  Instead, I find that I am having to do another round of intense physical therapy, and more frequent doctor visits, with an x-ray, and impending MRI.  All because of nerve damage that has presented itself since I went to visit family back in May.
The purpose, or so I had hoped for this pain pump was for me, in my mind to be able and participate, even just a little in my family's lives.  I still hope for this, and will continue to do so, but frustration is settling in.
So, until then I spend my days doing whatever and however much I can, be it a little or more than that.  I read, mostly scriptures, as I hope to read the Book of Mormon before the end of the year, a few other books as well, mostly repeats of favorite authors, and I cross stitch, I am working on Christmas gifts again this year.  The only thing with that is that, with my hands going numb, that is getting harder and harder to do. 

Apricot Jam...

I tried something new today, and it was sure yummy! A very sweet, dear friend and neighbor brought over a large bag of apricots from her tree yesterday, and I had just enough to make a batch of apricot jam.  As I have never done it before, I found a recipe on the internet, I was worried because it did not call for pectin, to which my concerns were unfounded as there was enough natural pectin that I did not need it.  We are not a raw apricot family, but we are now a apricot jam one!  Yum!

8 cups of diced apricots (peeled) - this is the messy, messy part, and my hands are stained an orange tint now, so I might suggest rubber gloves.
1/4 cup lemon juice
6 cups sugar

I combined all of the ingredients, in a large stock pot, because at one point at the beginning of the process the ingredients double in size, then bring everything to a boil on medium-high heat, stirring occasionally.  Once it begins the rolling boil at the same temperature, I stirred frequently to keep the jam from sticking and burning to the bottom of the pot for 30 minutes.  This seems like a long time, but it will be worth it, I promise!

The recipe, said that it would take 10 half-pint, sterilized jars, but I ended up filling 12.  Probably because my cup measurements were generous.  Don' forget to seal in a water bath canner anything you do not plan to consume right away to eat later, or in our case, give as gifts!

Dare...

I am 40 years old this year, there I said it.  I am a convert to my faith and I never did experience traditional occurrences within my church, primary classes, and singing time, baptism at eight, the young womens organization, girls camp and EFY (Especially for Youth), so when I found out that I could actually take part on my own in the Young Women's Personal Progress Program, I decided to do so.  I am currently working on the first attribute, faith. 

The first task is to establish a habit of prayer, which I think is good for anyone in any faith or church that they attend, I am doing better now, at the end of the first week.  The first two days or so, I had to find express time to sit and quietly pray, away from the hustle and noise that is my life.  Not that I did not pray before, it is just that I am making a conscience decision to take time away from my routine to thank my Heavenly Father for the blessings that I experience in my life, and I want to focus explicitly on that.  I am also working on bits and pieces of the other tasks as well as the project I have chosen which has to do with aspects of planting and harvesting a garden, and how that is related to Faith. 

My point though being, is that I was watching a "Mormon Message" today, and it was about Thomas S. Monson, the President of the Church, and he was speaking to the youth in an address.  He was talking about his military service, and he said something that was so profound to me, and it felt as though he was speaking directly to me.  You see, I am the only member, aside from a step-sister, to whom I am not that close to, and I married a man who does not believe as I do, so there are times when I feel alone, and rely heavily on prayer, and I also am a bit timid to share my beliefs with others also.  His quote is as follows: 

"Dare to be a Mormon,

Dare to Stand Alone,

Dare to Have a Purpose Firm,

Dare to Make it Known."





Divine Guidance...

Divine Guidance, or whatever the phrase may be, is what I would consider what is about to happen!  Last week, I went to the third week of Temple Preparation classes, and that is what I could consider what happened.  You see, I have been struggling, in life, with my health and with my church responsibilities.  A few weeks ago, I had finally listened to Heavenly Father's promptings to "do something" and not just sit idle.  My calling, you remember, the one that I was so strongly excited for, and had such hopes for...well, those feelings quickly disintigrated, and I was left feeling discouraged, frustrated and disenchanted.  I so wanted to help, offered, and was there to do just that, it was as if my help was not wanted, and I was given mixed signals about it.  I knew that Heavenly Father would never give me anything more than I could handle, even though I had questioned that in recent weeks/posts, I wanted to do all that I could before I threw in the towel and went to speak to my Bishop.   In preparation to speak to my Bishop, I brainstormed a bit, that Sunday afternoon, and formulated an outline/list of sorts.  Sharing hopes, dreams, discouragements, and questions.  I then gave the file a name, and let it lay on the desktop for a few days. 
At Sunday's evenings class, the Bishop was there to share information with our group about the temple, answer any questions or concerns, etc.  First off when he arrived, he said, "Sister Taylor, may I meet with you for a few minutes afterwards." To which I answered, yes.  A little worried, though there was no need to be, class began, and ended after a time.  We went to speak in the kitchen area of the home where we were having the class and said to me, "Sister Taylor, I have been thinking about you, and your situation a lot over the last week, I even wrote myself a note last Sunday morning, that I needed to talk to you." He went on to share that he feels that even though I could most effectively run the library, and that he was happy with all that I am willing to do, he was going to release me from my calling in the library.  I was so relieved.  No that I would not have given my all and done all that I could possibly do for our Ward family, but this fit, is just not the most optimal, to which he whole-heartedly agreed!  The situation is just not a good fit with me and the other Librarian, and he feels that I will be able to assist others in a better way in another calling, to which I also agree. He had even already at that point spoken to another person, who will be called to the position I vacate tomorrow.  He was that certain.  Divine Guidance! Even before I voice my concerns to the Bishop, I had voiced them to our Heavenly Father in prayer, and He answered me!
Prayer works, and I knew that before, but I an reaffirmed more now!
So sorry to sound preachy but I really felt the need to share.

So Much Has Happened!

Since my last post, I was still in New York, having a great time with family and friends...That is where the good times ended.  The night before I was to return to Idaho, we, Grandma and I, ended up calling 911 because my Grandpa couldn't breathe, and he was having intense chest pains.  They admitted him, and I was unable to say "good-bye" and give him a hug before I was to catch my plane in Thursday.  As I was getting settled after the layover in NYC, and then sitting in the airport in SLC, I checked my messages, only to get one from my Mom, saying that she was headed home to NY to be with Grandpa and the rest of her family.  My Grandfather passed away right after midnight on Saturday morning, he was 87.  So, in the span of less than a week, I buried one Grandmother, and lost my Grandfather.  I know that Our Heavenly Father will not give any person more than they can handle, but I felt that this was asking way too much! 

I have been reflecting a lot on what each of my Grandparent's have meant to me, and the memories that I have of both of them.  I remember some wonderful things, and that is how it should be!  I am so grateful for the time that I had with both of them!  I now am trying to keep focused on the girls and my great husband, and not let myself go to the dark place that I was in for the first two week after I got back to Idaho. 

My first major outing since getting back, is to go camping this weekend.  I have been packing the camper a little each day, and will finish up today.  I have been prepping food for our trip, and you would think that we are going for at least two weeks instead on three days and two nights.  I keep telling my husband, "we are traveling with children, remember..."

Returning to Idaho Tomorrow...

Since Saturday evening, I have been "back home" in Upstate New York.  I have enjoyed being here.  I have been here to attend a funeral service for my 91 year old Grandmother.  She passed away last October and we were all able to spend time celebrating her life over Memorial Day weekend, which was one of her favorite holiday's.  Other than the funeral, I was able to spend time with other family that also lives here. 

Tomorrow though it is time to get back to Idaho, and my life there, and my family.  I have called my kids each night, right before their bed time, and I don't know who that call is harder for, me or them.  They ask me if I am at the airport yet, and my Robyn tells me about the pictures that she is drawing for me, and Anna tells me she misses me, and want's me to come home right then so we can snuggle.  Tomorrow cannot come soon enough. I hope that all will go well during the travel.