Fighting the Urge...

It happened, I had that urge, and the desire to bear my testimony, but did not. Why is that? In the bulletin this week, there was a statement, "If you count to ten and no one has shared their tesimony, it must be your turn." More than one perso acted on that statement, and I thought about it, but did not get up. Sadly, not once, but twice, both in Sacrament meeting, and then in Relief Society. What is going on? I have so many things to be thankful for, and like others many trials and difficulties, but the things I am grateful for far outweight them.
Another thing happened yesterday though, I was in the hallway outside the Bishop's office before sacrament began, and his Executive Secretary came up to me, and said, "Sister, can you meet with a member of the Bishopric right after meetings today?" Oh, boy, of course I said yes, but then during the announcements I found myself listening more intently on who if anyone was released from a calling. So, after the block of meetings I was of course, asked to accept a calling, to which of course I accepted, and I will share more about that after I am sustained and set apart.
But, there was something that I mentioned to the First Counselor when we were talking. We got on the subject of my family, of which I am the only active member. My husband is not a member of the Church and as for my children, there is a delicate tight rope that we walk on in our home because of the member/non-member situation. But, yesterday morning, my 5 year old said to me as I was getting ready, "I want to go to church today Mommy," to which my husband said, "No." She then said, "But, I want to go to Primary." To which my husband still said, No. There are times when my husband is okay with them going with me, but this time alas was not. Instead of throwing a tantrum, my daughter went into her room, and got dressed, into the silliest, yet cutest clothes, a mismatched shirt with butterflies, and a quilted skirt, and said to me that she was, "going to have church at home." That simple statement brings me such pride! Some may disagree with my methods and say that I need to put my foot down and just take them, or the like, but I find other ways to invite the Spirit into my home and their lives and hearts. We play Primary songs and hymns throughout the day, when I read my scriptures, they sit with me and snuggle, we pray before we eat our meals, and they know that Heavenly Father loves them. I do what I can, and I know that they believe, because they show me in little ways that they do.

Fast and Testimony Meeting

I say the following practically every month, that "This month, I will share my testimony in church!" I even say it with conviction, in my head, anyway. Last year was pretty good for me sharing-wise, I got up during fast and testimony meeting three different times, in three different months. Which is pretty good, if you, like I, was following what our Stake Presidency challenged us to do, which among other things was to share our testimony once in the year 2011. But, 2011 is not 2012. I so wanted to start off on a positive foot, and share my testimony by now, but sometimes you have a strong feeling from the Spirit that actually lifts you off the chair and in the general direction of the podium, but I have not had that happen yet, as in the past. There were some wonderful testimonies shared, mostly concerning missionary work, and temple attendance, there was even a wonderful testimony shared concerning the wonderful kindness of members of our Ward, and how that had touched one family in particular. I don't know about your Ward, but we as a Ward have been asked to focus our testimonies on feelings, and the Spirit, and keep them as much oriented towards the Church, personal revelations, and feelings that we feel we need to share by the Spirit. In the past, there have been testimony meetings where numerous people would stand, and say they were wanting to share their testimony, but instead talk about their newest vacation, or the like, we even had once where a person, without naming names actually chastised someone from the podium. Which I am grateful to our Stake Presidency to remind us in a polite way that Fast & Testimony meetings were just that, to Fast, Reflect and Pray, and Share our TESTIMONY of the Gospel!
So, in a small way, I would like to share a bit of my testimony now. I Believe with my whole heart that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true Church upon the Earth. I believe that Joseph Smith was called of God to be a Prophet in the Latter Days! I sustain Thomas S. Monson as a Prophet, and I look to him for guidance, as I do also look to my Stake and Ward Leaders, as they are called of God. I believe in the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, and learn something new each time I read what is written that I can apply to my life. I know that our trials are necessary to be able to return to live with Heavenly Father, when our time here is done, and I know that the blessings are abundant if I remain faithful.