Saturday, May 19, 2012

Testing the Boundaries...

The worst of my kids that is doing this right now, is actually my teenager.  Well, she is barely that anymore, she is 18, and she thinks and expects me to treat her like she is 30 or so.  But instead she acts like she is two, with the temper tantrums, and the "silly" decisions that she makes and such.  One major thing here is that currently she does not have a job.  One part of that that drives my husband nuts is that she shows no real gumption to get one, to follow through with those she has "supposedly" applied for, etc.  For me, the bothersome part of that is, she is receiving cash gifts from family and friends, well, MY family and friends, but she is blowing that.  On food, for herself and her friends, and gas to drive around, just because, and goodness knows what else.  She even bought a graduation "dress" last night.  I knew that it was going to be bad, when the first phrase out of her mouth when she walked in the door started with, "My friend is going to let me borrow a pair of leggings..." The dress falls about mid-thigh.  What is she thinkng, it is a semi-long shirt, NOT a dress. 
The bad thing, I know what she is doing.  I have tried this same tactic myself.  You push your parents to see how far you can until they argue with with you, and you can reply, "I am 18, and an adult, you can't tell me what to do." To that the parents say, "As long as you live under my roof, you will abide by my rules..." We all know the drill, right.
The sad part with all this, and what I have been saying to my husband for about a week now is that, I did not raise her this way.  I do not wear tight fitting clothes, I do not show my butt cheeks off to people by the shorts I wear, or  wear tank tops with my bra strap showing and no shirt.  I am proud to say that I wear modest clothing, I am covered, and still manage to look stylish.  On Friday, prior to the graduation ceremony, we are having a few friends and family over for cake to celebrate her graduation, and I am dreading their responses with all honesty.  Some of my friends who will be here are, our ward's Bishop and his wife, who are dear, dear friends, my Visiting Teaching Companion, and her husband, who was just release as a Stake High Councilman, another friend and her husband who are teaching the Temple Preparation class, and he is currently a Stake High Councilman, not to also mention my parents, my husband's Mother, my Ex and his wife, my brother, and siser-in-law, and numerous children. 
I know that her choices are not mine, but I am worried what my friends will think when they see her dressed in clothing that leave little to their imaginations.  Will that be a reflection on me? 

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