Fighting the Urge...

It happened, I had that urge, and the desire to bear my testimony, but did not. Why is that? In the bulletin this week, there was a statement, "If you count to ten and no one has shared their tesimony, it must be your turn." More than one perso acted on that statement, and I thought about it, but did not get up. Sadly, not once, but twice, both in Sacrament meeting, and then in Relief Society. What is going on? I have so many things to be thankful for, and like others many trials and difficulties, but the things I am grateful for far outweight them.
Another thing happened yesterday though, I was in the hallway outside the Bishop's office before sacrament began, and his Executive Secretary came up to me, and said, "Sister, can you meet with a member of the Bishopric right after meetings today?" Oh, boy, of course I said yes, but then during the announcements I found myself listening more intently on who if anyone was released from a calling. So, after the block of meetings I was of course, asked to accept a calling, to which of course I accepted, and I will share more about that after I am sustained and set apart.
But, there was something that I mentioned to the First Counselor when we were talking. We got on the subject of my family, of which I am the only active member. My husband is not a member of the Church and as for my children, there is a delicate tight rope that we walk on in our home because of the member/non-member situation. But, yesterday morning, my 5 year old said to me as I was getting ready, "I want to go to church today Mommy," to which my husband said, "No." She then said, "But, I want to go to Primary." To which my husband still said, No. There are times when my husband is okay with them going with me, but this time alas was not. Instead of throwing a tantrum, my daughter went into her room, and got dressed, into the silliest, yet cutest clothes, a mismatched shirt with butterflies, and a quilted skirt, and said to me that she was, "going to have church at home." That simple statement brings me such pride! Some may disagree with my methods and say that I need to put my foot down and just take them, or the like, but I find other ways to invite the Spirit into my home and their lives and hearts. We play Primary songs and hymns throughout the day, when I read my scriptures, they sit with me and snuggle, we pray before we eat our meals, and they know that Heavenly Father loves them. I do what I can, and I know that they believe, because they show me in little ways that they do.